


Slug: Lord of Rock

by JogreMyOgre



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24596344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JogreMyOgre/pseuds/JogreMyOgre
Summary: Lord Slug searches the galaxy for the dragon balls to restore his youth and his status as the greatest rock legend to have ever lived. Will he succeed in his quest or will he fade away as a relic of an era long since past?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	Slug: Lord of Rock

Out in space, the aging legend Slug continues his search for the dragon balls, so that he may return his youth and restore his glory days as the universal king of rock. His quest has brought many tears to him already. One by one he has found the graves of his former band members; the Super Nameks. All gone, and their dragon balls turned to stone. Following rumors and tips, he now journeys to the planet earth in hopes to find his old friend and former bass player whose name is now lost to him.

'This is my last hope.' the Namekian thought to himself.

"Lord Slug, I've got signatures of spacecraft on an intercept course with us! They register as Galactic Patrol!"

Slug turned his gaze to his troubled subordinate "They think they can take me in now? What fools. Fetch my guitar, we're going to remind these police punks why they called me the lord of rock!"

Meanwhile, the fleet of patrollers prepares to engage "It's him! It's Slug! Wanted throughout the galaxy for his thousands of noise complaints, loitering, and corruption of the youth into delinquents! All units engage!"

Emerging from a hatch atop his space vessel, Lord Slug prepares his auditory assault on the patrollers. "Are you ready you miserable cretins!" Slug lets out a massive wave of rapid chords that shred the fabric of space around him.

"Ah! What is this!" the patrol ships begin to break formation and scatter as their pilots are driven mad by the legendary solo. "It's too much sir, we won't last a minute like this!"

"Hold on men! Don't let his maddening music lose you!" The lead patroller takes charge of the attack. The effects of the song are dulled to his ears due to his noise-canceling officially licensed Galactic Patrol earbuds.

"Hahahah! I'm not even warming up and you're already falling apart!" Slug takes his already massive advantage to the next level as a mic pops out of the floor in front of him. "I hope you last long enough to hear the chorus!" Slug begins to supplement his guitar with wicked lyrics that bring many of the patrol members to insanity.

The patrol leader's resistance is further burdened by the onslaught, but his resolve is unbroken. After identifying the source of the ship speaker's power he charges in and fires a full volley. "Take this you blight on society!"

But as the volley approaches its target a massive wave of rock energy smashes through the area like a hammer, knocking away all the patrollers and their attacks. Slug pauses to identify the source of the hot new riff. He sees in the distance a ship of the Freiza force. A figure moves across the top of the vessel and announces his presence. "I thought I heard a familiar sound. I couldn't have imagined the Namekian who influenced so much of my teenage years would still be rocking."

Slug now sees clearly the being who called him by name. "You're Cooler! Son of Cold! Your father never approved of my genius, such a jealous fool."

Cooler let out a laugh to Slug's response. "My father never understood me either. He kept telling me it was just a phase. Well look at me now father! I am Cooler, the new lord of rock!" Cooler continued his maniacal chuckle.

"The new lord of rock? You dare say that in front of me! There's still plenty of energy in this body, plenty enough to put you in your place kid!" Slug begins to boil up.

"Oh please. You may have been good for your time, but we live in a new era, and I rule it with uncontested authority old man!" Cooler let out a volley of pure hardcore metal which ravages Slug's ship with an unimaginable intensity.

"Damn! If it's a rock fight you want then it's a rock fight you'll get!" Slug resumes his song of passion, now on the defensive. Sparks fly as the two living legends clash in vibrant auditory radiance. Sweat begins to pour over both men as their rock battle intensifies.

"Give it up grandpa! My electric metal is better than you ever were!" Cooler's intensity expands immensely, nearly engulfing the fading legend Slug.

"You mistake your fancy new toys for talent! A veteran like me has no need for such crutches!" Slug switches the tone of his song to strike directly at the heart. Cooler lets out a gasp as he is taken off guard by the sudden depression inflicted by realness of Slug's lyrics.

"Damn you! I don't need my daddy's love!" Cooler quickly twists the assault on him into a powerful counter-attack of pure metal rage. Slug is overwhelmed by the massive attack and is hurled into space as his spaceship is blasted away in an inferno of lyrical hatred. Slug begins to lose consciousness, holding only his guitar in hand.

Cooler begins to cool down and embraces the immense joy that now springs from within him. "And with this, there can be no doubt in my position as the greatest rock legend who ever lived!" The proud young talent lets out a gnarly laugh.

Meanwhile, Slug's life flashes before him. The love he had for his Super Namek brothers. The passion for his craft he had, and then his oldest memory. Old grandpa Slug sitting on the porch with his guitar in the sunset. A somber and emotional melody that he could never forget. And then with the last of his strength Slug moved his hands over his guitar and began to strum.

Cooler's laughter began to subside as the quiet strums began to hit his ear. He looked in the direction of the sound in confusion. 'There's no way' he thought. The strums turned to a soft and sincere melody. Slowly building up and growing in complexity. Cooler looked on in awe as Slug's body began to glow with incredible energy. The song was swelling up with an emotional energy that Cooler could barely describe. Minute by minute the sad, angry, and hopeful sounds emitted from Slug grew and grew. Slug's own energy was beginning to engulf the stars around him. A brilliance was born that Cooler would never see again.

Slug let out everything inside of him, casting aside his failed quest to return to what he once had. He left nothing, no regrets, only his music remained as his frail aged body melted away. And then it ended, leaving behind a glimmer of passion felt lightyears away.

Cooler fell to his knees completely defeated. He realized his foolishness and arrogance. To think that he could have possibly matched the terrible beauty of Slug's music now seems like the dream of a naive child. Then drifting right into his hands, the now lifeless guitar of Slug had made its way to a new owner. Cooler clutched the instrument and stood. He looked out at the still illuminated space where Slug once stood. Now understanding the magnitude of responsibility he now held, Cooler began to play.


End file.
